Two years ago today I attended my first colposcopy appointment. I was 29 years old and I had just had my second baby. I was pretty much exuding happiness, tired happiness, but happiness nonetheless. Cancer. It’s a word none of us want to hear, ever. Not for ourselves or for those around us. It’s deceitful, it’s cunning and sly. It hides and it eludes is. It puts those who are diagnosed with it through hell (and that’s putting it mildly). It’s the word I heard by the end of that first appointment. As time goes by I become increasingly aware that I’m able to examine this memory from different angles.…
Oh goodness, it’s been such a long time since I did a proper update. Things have been hard in so many ways. Now I’m just trying to think of where to begin to really update you. I guess a while back in July seems a good place to start, when I first heard the term “long term prospects” and was told that palliative care would be starting to had over to the pain clinic. This was amazing news but with the end of my radiotherapy came the beginning of my neuropathy. Neuropathic pain is notoriously hard to manage. There are drugs available to help but they often aren’t the loan…
We got an unexpected call from my oncology team, Friday evening to give us some news that niether of us were expecting. My scan had shown many small blood clots in my pelvis and lungs, and I needed to begin treatment, fast.
Well! Hello there! It has been a while, hasn’t it? It’s been a particularly challenging cycle and it has sadly kept me from doing what I love most – writing.
For those who do not know, in December I was told it was “highly likely” I had cervical cancer. In early January this was confirmed, the next day I met with a surgeon who talked through the procedure I required.
He doesn’t get enough credit, truth be told. The man that has been propping me up since my pregnancy with our second baby begun.
Tonight I sit on a fold out bed in a hospital room on a children’s ward watching you sleep. You are here because you don’t seem to like your milk, and as such you don’t eat enough.