• Cancer,  Gynae Cancers,  Health

    Two Years On

    Two years ago today I attended my first colposcopy appointment. I was 29 years old and I had just had my second baby. I was pretty much exuding happiness, tired happiness, but happiness nonetheless. Cancer. It’s a word none of us want to hear, ever. Not for ourselves or for those around us. It’s deceitful, it’s cunning and sly. It hides and it eludes is. It puts those who are diagnosed with it through hell (and that’s putting it mildly). It’s the word I heard by the end of that first appointment. As time goes by I become increasingly aware that I’m able to examine this memory from different angles.…

  • Cancer,  Health,  Mental Health

    The Eye of the Storm

    During the middle of some of the most intense pain flares I’ve had, I seem to have found the eye of the storm. A place where I can stand and breathe where I can dream of being pain free. It takes some finding, and sometimes I question if I’m really in the middle of it or just so overwhelmed by the pain that my body just gives out. I suppose it could be either. When it starts I can feel the buzzing in my feet begin to increase and then it starts to creep up my legs, slowly at first, as if teasing me “ooh, you know what’s coming but…

  • Cancer,  Health,  Mental Health,  Slider

    Remission

    This part of my life is something that is worthy of more than one insta post. It’s massive, beyond all understanding. It was entirely unexpected and triggered a whole host of wild emotions. Elation, total pure joy, disbelief, fear. Remission was unexpected. I remember being told that the cancer was incurable and asking if remission was a possibility. My oncologist told me that it wasn’t, the term remission was usually held for cancers like leukaemia, not cervical. It was then she told me that the cancer was “life shortening” (her exact words) and she progressed to give me 5 years left to live. That moment is one that will be…